


You Have To Choose

by SmokySky



Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: Choices, F/M, Getting Back Together, Happy Ending, Not at all canon compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-10
Updated: 2019-09-10
Packaged: 2020-10-14 06:54:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20596565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmokySky/pseuds/SmokySky
Summary: Grace gives Tommy an ultimatum after being excluded from a family meeting: lose her or lose honorary-Shelby and his former lover Catherine.





	You Have To Choose

**Author's Note:**

> Based on this prompt:
> 
> “You have to choose. Me or her.”
> 
> “I don’t...I don’t know. Please don’t make me do this.”
> 
> In which Grace gives Tommy an ultimatum after being excluded from a family meeting: lose her or lose honorary-Shelby and his former lover Catherine.

Catherine watched the last of the pub-goers scurry out of the Garrison, too scared of Arthur and Tommy to even think about staying to watch the two men fight, but neither man even seemed to notice the sudden exodus.

They’d have fought in front of everyone if Polly hadn’t ordered everyone to leave - with Catherine and John glaring at anyone who looked like they were even thinking of not listening to her. Now it was just Catherine, Polly, Grace, and the four Shelby brothers in the Garrison, all eyes stuck on where the two oldest brothers where almost nose to nose, ready for a fight.

“This ain’t right, Tommy - we’ve got no business in London.”

“There’s going to be a family meeting tomorrow - if you have any concerns, Arthur, you can voice them then.”

“Why wait?” Arthur sneered: “There’s only family here. Let’s do it now.”

Tommy’s eyes flicked to Grace, watching the whole scene unfold from where she stood behind the bar: “Tomorrow.”

Polly, similarly, looked to Grace - although Catherine could see she was far less subtle about it that Tommy had been, having never gotten over her dislike to the girl: “It’s not just family here, Arthur. Tomorrow.”

Seeing Grace ready to open her mouth and argue with Polly, Catherine stepped forward to put a hand on Arthur’s shoulder and pull him a step towards the door: “C’mon, Arthur. Walk me home, I’m feeling lady-like. And you know it’ll be an early start tomorrow.”

Arthur turned to follow Catherine out the front door - _ it was their code, after all, using the terms ‘lady-like’ and ‘gentlemanly’ to signal that one of them was feeling the need to make a quick escape _\- but instead of letting the matter go, Grace slammed one of the glasses she had been cleaning down on the bar.

The whole room turned to watch her - such actions were not uncommon in the Shelby family, but they were unusual on Grace’s part. Posh girls like here were far too refined for that, Polly had sneered, but in Catherine’s opinion Grace had just refrained to make sure that, when she did have to slam something down, then it would have the proper impact on them all. And, to be fair to her, it had worked.

Especially since Grace waited a perfect amount of time to start speaking, making sure all eyes and ears were on her. It was very effective - if she was being honest, Catherine would have to say that she was almost impressed.

But not quite.

“Oh, but I’m sure Catherine is invited to the family meeting, isn’t she?”

“Catherine’s family.” Arthur said plainly: “She’s our sister.”

Grace sneered: “Your’s, John’s, and Finn’s maybe. But she’s not Tommy’s sister, is she?”

Tommy instantly reached out to Grace like he would a spooked horse: hands up and voice soft: “Grace, it’s been years...”

“Three years, at most.” Grace sniffed: “And yet she’s still hanging around. I wonder why that might be?”

“Because I’m loyal.” Catherine responded, knowing Grace wouldn’t miss the dig at her less than honest introduction to Small Heath, and the man she had betrayed after falling in love with Tommy: “Because I see all the Shelbys as my family, Tommy included. They’ve bled for me: you don’t just turn your back on that.”

“We don’t.” Polly sneered.

Tommy looked like he was shutting the conversation out - if Catherine, Polly, and Grace were arguing, then it was probably women’s business to him. Or he’d say it was, if it got him out of having to pick a side, just like he’d always done when it was Catherine, Polly, and Ada arguing around the kitchen table in Watery Lane. Catherine could see him doing it, and didn’t blame him.

She had no desire to argue with Tommy’s lover, but that wouldn’t stop her from doing so if Grace pushed her. And Polly wouldn’t think twice about coming to Catherine’s defence. That was what she did: settled family arguments.

It just so happened that, unfortunately for Grace, Polly would likely never settle an argument in Grace’s favour. Which was likely why Grace stopped arguing with Catherine and Polly, and turned on Tommy again.

“How do you think that makes me feel, Tommy? That she is included in your family business, and I’m not? That you go to her before you come to me? It tears me up inside!”

“Grace, you know it’s not like that.”

“But _ it is _ like that, Tommy, and you know it.”

“I understand you’re upset, Grace, but please - ”

“You can’t have her as a friend and me as your lover, Tommy.” Grace demanded, her grey eyes cold as she glared at Tommy: “You have to choose. Me, or her.”

Polly started forward, already spitting out curses at Grace, while Arthur shouted about - being family to Tommy as John reminded Tommy or everything Catherine had done for not just the Shelbys, but the Blinders too, and Finn silently clutched Catherine’s hand. But Catherine didn’t say anything.

After all, what was there to say?

She didn’t believe in ultimatums she wasn’t willing to carry through - and neither did Grace. If Tommy didn’t banish Catherine, choose Grace as his lover and only woman in his life who wasn’t blood to him, then Grace would leave him. She might even go back to Campbell. She’d certainly feel like a woman scorned, and as the saying went: _ Hell hath no fury… _

But Catherine - knew better than to try to make Tommy’s choice for him. That was something he had to do something himself, or he’d forever resent her - and himself. So she waited impassively for him to say who was to stay and was to leave, silently resolving to try and make it as easy as possible for him, no matter what his decision was.

He didn’t make impassiveness easy for her.

Tommy looked between her and Grace, his eyes wide with fear. He looked like a horse about to bolt, almost trembling with anxiety, blind and deaf to everything but Catherine and Grace. He kept turning his head between the two, mouth opening and shutting as he tried to formulate something to say. Catherine knew the expression, even if Tommy rarely wore it, knew it meant that he felt cornered. If it was anyone but Grace, that expression likely would have boded well for her - _ Tommy didn’t like being corned, tended to step over bodies to get out of them, be they metaphorical or literal _ \- but he loved Grace like he’d loved no-one else. Not even Catherine.

She knew exactly when his made his choice. He was looking at her, and she saw his eyes ice over with the same coldness that had been in them when he’d first come back from France and told her that they couldn’t be together anymore. She nodded subtly, knowing he’d see it and understand that she wouldn’t fight him on this.

He might not know that she still loved him as desperately as she had when he’d left for France, but she did. And she wouldn’t drag this out for him any longer than it had to be.

“Thomas,” Polly warned, clearly having seen the same ice in his eyes as Catherine: “Don’t say anything you’ll regret.”

“Don’t you fucking do it, Tommy.” Arthur growled.

“Make your choice, Tommy.” demanded Grace, calm as anything with her arms folded across her chest.

Tommy turned to look at Grace, and Catherine could only imagine how his face softened when he did when she heard how much his voice had warmed to her: “Grace, let’s go home.”

The family shouted and raged, but Tommy didn’t let that stop him from taking Grace’s hand and leading her out of the Garrison in a cacophony of noise.

Arthur and John were swearing, Polly was shouting about how foolish men were to be led around by their cocks, and Finn was sobbing into Catherine’s stomach, clutching onto her jacket as hard as he could, as if he could stop her from having to leave if he just held on tight enough. Catherine wrapped her arms around him, hugging him and leaning down to tell him that everything would be okay, even as Arthur had put a hand on her shoulder and was telling her the same thing.

“He can’t cast you out, Cat, that’s a family matter. We’ll out-vote him.” John declared, eyes shining with rage.

Arthur was just was furious: “You’re not going anywhere, Catherine, you _ ain’t goin’ fuckin’ nowhere _.”

“You can’t,” Finn added: “You can’t go Kitty, please.”

Catherine shared a single look with Polly, and the older woman slowly led the boys out of the Garrison. Catherine knew she’d understand.

Polly knew that Catherine didn’t want to hurt Tommy: and if that meant leaving, then Catherine would leave. It didn’t mean she was leaving the family entirely - she had just as many ties to the Lees as the Shelbys did, and Ada would welcome her to London with open arms if she asked. But it did mean leaving Small Heath. It meant leaving Birmingham entirely, so Tommy never saw her or heard about her again. And neither would Grace.

Making her way home after locking up the pub, Catherine tried to push past the sick feeling in her stomach to make a plan. That was what she did, in the end, what she’d always done. Planned.

She planned to visit a cousin Mary down south. St Albans was meant to be a nice little city down south -_ a hell of a lot nicer than Birmingham, although that wasn’t exactly difficult _ \- and Mary had just had a little girl, so it’d be nice to see her. Another benefit of St Albans was that it was a short train journey from London, meaning that Catherine could find work in a city that she would never stand out in.

It wasn’t the life that she had planned on having. Or one she had would have chosen. But those plans had gone down the drain when Tommy had come back from France a different man and told her that the new man he was wasn’t the man for her. 

_ Really, I should have seen this coming _ , Catherine mused as she walked up the stairs of her house to start packing, _ it’s been a possibility for a while now _.

Sorting her possessions into things she needed to take with her and things that she would ask Polly to send to her when she was settled, Catherine slowly made her way through her bedroom, the small hidden space in the attic, and the living room.

With the clock packed away to take to Polly’s for safe keeping, along with any other precious items Catherine wasn’t taking with her, Catherine had no idea how long she’d been working when there was a knock on the back door.

Her hand instantly going to the gun at her hip, Catherine crept towards the kitchen as the door creaked open, ready to get rid of whoever thought it would be a good idea to creep into her house in the dead of the night - something only the Shelbys had any right to do. And no Shelby would be calling out to see if she was accepting visitors - they just barged in and made themselves at home.

“Catherine? Are you here?”

Putting the gun away, Catherine stepped into the kitchen with a confused frown: “Tommy?”

Tommy gave her a wan smile, looking as haggard as she’d seen him since he came back on leave.

He came straight over to her, wrapping her in his arms to her close to his chest and hold her their while he buried his face in her hair. Catherine let him - even hugged him back, knowing that this was very likely the only goodbye there were going to get.

And despite the decisions that he’d made, Catherine would miss Tommy.

“I told her that I wanted her gone by the time I got home from the family meeting tomorrow.” Tommy muttered, his face still buried in Catherine’s hair.

Because of that, she was sure she’d misheard him, pulling away from his hold and putting some space between them: “What?”

“Grace. I told her that she needed to be out of the house before I got home from the meeting tomorrow.”

“Tommy...I thought you were choosing Grace to stay here.”

Tommy gripped Catherine’s shoulder, ducking down to look her directly in the eye: “Catherine, I would _ never _ choose Grace over you. I would never choose _ anyone _ over you. You’re...you’re the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

“Oh, Tommy.” Catherine sighed: “You didn’t have to send her away. You love her.”

Tommy didn’t respond straight away - he just looked at her, blue eyes glistening with something that Catherine couldn’t quite place.

For the first time in over a decade, Catherine couldn’t tell what Tommy was thinking.

All she could do was smile at him reassuringly, hoping that whatever was going on in his head it was smoothed over by her lack of distress. She hoped he understood that she wouldn’t hold it against him if he went back to Grace and told her that he’d changed his mind. Catherine knew that she’d lost that part of Tommy three years ago: his heart was his to give, and she wouldn’t begrudge him giving it to Grace, or anyone else.

“I love _ you _.”

All of a sudden, Tommy’s lips were pressed to hers, oh-so gentle like.

Surprise flooded through Catherine, but Tommy’s lips were soft and warm and achingly familiar, so she didn’t pull away. She kept on kissing him, leaning into him for a few seconds, before reluctantly pulling away.

Tommy’s cheeks were flushed, despite how chaste their kiss had been, his pupils blown and his chest heaving - and Catherine was sure she was no better.

“Tommy - ”

“I know. I know.” Tommy cut her off, desperation creeping over his face: “I’m not the man you fell in love with. I know. But even if I left most of myself behind in those tunnels, I still love you. I never stopped. I think I might always love you. I wanted to protect you from what I’ve become...but I can’t let you leave entirely.”

Catherine was frozen.

She just...didn’t know how to react. Or even how to feel. Happy that she didn’t have to leave. Surprised that Tommy had picked her over Grace. Fucking elated that he still loved her. Mournful for all the time they’d lost. Furious that he’d thought he could push her away because he thought that what was best for her. All the feelings churned inside her, making her open and close her mouth with a hundred things to say, but nothing that would actually leave her throat.

“Catherine...please, say something.”

“I...I love you too. I don’t think I ever stopped, don’t think I ever will either. But...”

Tommy lunged forwards desperately, grabbing Catherine’s wrists: “Look, you don’t...we don’t have to get back together or anything, but - please don’t leave.”

Catherine broke Tommy’s hold on her wrists, just so she could hold his hands on hers: “I’m not going anywhere. But we’re not getting back together, either.”

Tommy swallowed, his eyes pained, but he nodded all the same: “I can respect that.”

“But...if there’s no other women in your life at the moment...then I don’t see anything stopping us from getting back together in the future.” she admitted: “In time.”

Tommy’s face lightened, his eyes shining before he threw his head back and laughed. He grabbed Catherine into another hug: lifting her off of her feet and twirling her around the kitchen - just like he used to do when they were first dating.

Catherine wrapped her arms around his neck, laughing along with him, until she could lean down and press another chaste kiss against his lips.

“You better make me fuckin’ work for this.” Tommy murmured, after they’d pulled apart, even though he still held her up a few inches in the air: “Make me earn you.”

“Don’t be such a masochist.” Catherine smiled.

“Nope, you’re going to make me make up for being such a bastard. I’m going to prove to you that I’m worth your love.”

“You already are,” Catherine smiled, cupping Tommy’s cheek in her hand...and smiling mischievously: “But, well, if you insist that want to work for it, then I can probably come up with a few ideas...”


End file.
